It's hard to see the up side when you're down.

The ending of anything is an opportunity to look back and reflect, and the closing of a semester of college is no exception. This semester has been... interesting. If you had asked me two months ago, I would have told you that fall 2010 could not have ended fast enough. But now that the end is so near, I wish I had more time.

It's tempting to look back on the last few months with bitterness. It's hard to look at the bright side of things. When you are laying in bucket of shit, it's hard to see the shit as anything more than just... shit. But in reality, that shit makes some really great fertilizer. Bad analogy?

Ok. Starting over. Let's give optimism a try, shall we? It's (EXTREMELY) frustrating, the way that everything seemed to wait until the last minute to fall into place. Last fall the entire semester was full of happy times and great memories. Why can't they all be like that? I suppose you have to have hard times in order to gain appreciation for the good times. I get the feeling that has become a theme for me in 2010. I have to lose things to learn how much I need then. I've learned to appreciate what I have and let go of the things I dont' need.

I have been taking a lot of things for granted. My family, for one. We went through a lot this year. Both my immediate and extended family had their share of trials. It was an awesome experience to watch my family come together to support and love each other through heartache and pain. There truly is nothing like family.

I've also always had a strong support group of friends. I can't remember a time when I didn't have an armor of supporters protecting me. So this semester, when I was suddenly left with myself, I realized the value of that. It was nice, honestly, to have to get through some stuff alone. I saw a strength in myself that I didn't know I possessed. I learned that I love having people to pull me through, but I can do it alone if I need to. And sometimes, I need to.

As I say goodbye to Fall 2010, and 2010 in general, I am grateful for it. But more than that, I'm grateful that it's leaving.

On the top of the list of the several goals I have for 2011 is to not take things for granted. I want to continue to be grateful for the blessings I have been given. I've come too close to losing some very important things, just because I didn't realize how important they really were. I've been given a second chance. And I'm going to take it.

Sometimes all you need is a little push to realize that a change is in order. :)