...and counting

22 years ago today, mini Michael was brought into the world screaming and crying and covered in gross. 

adorable.

Now, 22 years later, the adult (ha) version of that screaming new born is going through a similar, although less traumatic (and less messy), experience. A new chapter in my life has just begun. And I can't help but think about everything that has led me here. 

Lately, I've been focusing a lot on regrets. A lot of my attention has been put on my weaknesses and how I could have worked harder in my past to overcome them. I've become slightly obsessed with fantasies about what life could be like right now if only I had put a little bit more time and energy into myself in high school and the years following graduation. 

Luckily, I'm still young and have a lot of time to grow and learn. Right?

Simply put, the clock is ticking. I don't want to wake up in another 22 years and realize that all my dreams and ambitions passed me by.

I need goals. Fortunately I'm really really good at making goals.

Unfortunately, I'm a failure when it comes to reaching them.

Please bless that the next 22 years are more productive than the first 22 have been. 

-mikey-

Climbing uphill....

It's both awesome and overwhelming to be in a room in which you are literally the least talented person. We are halfway through the second week of rehearsals for Hair, and quite simply, I'm a little bit out of my league...

Being able to look around at your cast members and see what you could be is completely different than anything I have experienced since I was a sophomore in high school. When I went to CEU I was never really surrounded by upperclassmen, so I never had this feeling of awe at the people around me. Being in hair is completely different.

And I'm not just trying to seem humble here. This ins't one of those "I'm going to tell you how much I suck so you can tell me how good I am" situations. It isn't like that at all. There is simply no doubt in my mind that of all the cast members, I have the least experience, training and talent when it comes to singing and dancing (even though I'm older than half of them). It's a fact. It can't be denied.

Now I know that sounds bad. I know it may seem like I'm whining. Actually, I'm doing quite the opposite. I'm not upset at the situation at all. In fact, it is exactly what I wanted. I wanted a humbling experience that forced me to work hard to hold my own. And my hell, I'm getting it! I feel so liberated and excited and energized. In this show, with this cast and this director, I will not be able to fall back on my old tricks and habits that have gotten me through before. I'm going to have to be constantly working and growing. I can't express what an amazing feeling that is. I have so much to be grateful for.

I can't wait.

-mikey-